Just Call Me AC Because I Need to Vent
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Last year, around this same time, I was staying with my dad. To preface this story for anyone who isn't in the know, when the pandemic first started I was working a job in construction staffing and living on my own. At that point in time, my life was finally getting back on track from all the other setbacks and felt like I was going to be alright.
Then Covid made landfall in America and spread like wildfire. It wasn't a huge issue at first because it hadn't spread, but as more and more people got sick and the lockdown looming, I decided that I should hold off on getting a car, I didn't have one, and hang on to that money in case I got laid off.
Sure enough I found myself laid off and collecting unemployment. It wasn't bad because it was a lot of money. The problem came when my unemployment lapsed and wouldn't pick back up until after the new year and it was still just November. I told my leasing office that I had gotten laid off and that I didn't have the money to pay rent and that I would move out by the end of the month if that was agreeable. This was a few weeks before they HAD to file the eviction paperwork.
For two weeks they gave me the run around and I didn't hear back from them. Finally, the first week in December I talked to someone and she said she'd get back to me. On the 10th, the day they had to start the eviction process, she told me they couldn't do anything for me. I asked if I could just move out and she said she would get back to me. I heard nothing; so from December to February they still hadn't told me whether or not I could just move out without being in penalty for the lease. Nothing.
The following week the sheriff shows up at my apartment to serve me a notice that I'm being evicted and that I have to appear in court. I went to court and the judge asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I no longer want to work with the leasing office because they didn't want to work with me back then and were running up the tab the whole time. He told me simply to vacate the apartment in 10 days and I happily obliged.
After that my dad ended up getting a two bedroom apartment and told me I could stay with him. When we first talked about it, I told him that I could put some money on the bills because I was getting that good unemployment check at the time because of the pandemic. He said, "No, don't worry about it."
For the first two months, he was staying at his old apartment just to satisfy the lease, so I paid a few of the bills until he moved in and then after that he took over paying all the bills. Everything was fine at first; things were going well and it was a good situation.
A few months go by before he starts talking about how he doesn't like his job, wants to quit and I'm thinking to myself, "Well, shit..." because I still haven't found a job yet and he's talking about quitting his and if he does then I need to have a job in case he needs me to help out with bills, so I ramped up my efforts and when I say ramped up, I mean I was applying for a minimum of 250 jobs a week.
My dad eventually ended up quitting his job and when he told me, I knew trouble was coming, so I did my best to keep my head down and find a job ASAP.
Another month or so goes by and one morning there's a puddle of water in the kitchen and I open the room where the water heater is and water is just spilling from this thing so I go tell my dad. Before he even opens his bedroom door I can tell he's pissed. Why? Because for the previous month he's been brooding, quiet, and pretty much treating me like I'm a burden.
Anyway, I can hear him come to the door and I timidly tell him that there's water coming from the water heater and he should put in a maintenance request. He came barreling out of the room and I just got out of his way. He was cleaning up and talking to maintenance on the phone. The guy showed up, he and my dad talked then the guy left. I knew my dad was already mad so I was trying to make myself scarce, but when I came out of my room, he was just about to go outside and smoke a cigarette when he starts yelling at me:
"You better have your fuckin' shit together because I'm not fuckin' renewing this lease..."
In the middle of his rant, I told him he wasn't going to keep talking to me any kind of way. Father or not, I'm a grown man I don't talk to him like that so I expect the same. Then he starts aggressively moving towards me fussing and cussing. Basically telling me I better have my shit together because he's not going to let me stay with him anymore. I mean really just being as shitty as he can for nothing.
Admittedly, I exploded because for years when he gets like that I never stand up for myself and this time I just wasn't having it. I told him I would've paid some on the bills to ease his burden and if he wanted me to do more around the apartment or if I was fucking something up he could've told me. It's not like I would've gotten mad. He was pretty much keeping a roof over my head, so why would I not oblige whatever his request was? I couldn't figure it out, but after that screaming match, I went back to my room.
Not going to lie, I was pretty hurt. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what I did to deserve that. A week or two after that I finally landed a new job, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sign a lease being that I had been evicted, so foolishly, I figured I would approach my dad and tell him that I got this new job, I'm making money again, and again, offered to split the bills. He looked at me with this almost completely disgusted look on his face and told me no.
Now, I already knew that I' was going to have a helluva time trying to find a new apartment because I was evicted, but I had to at least try. I started applying for apartments and for weeks I was just spending money to be told no. Then after one apartment complex rejected me I just broke down. I started crying. I couldn't breathe. I just felt like there was no hope for anything.
The next day I texted someone I thought was a friend and told him the situation and he told me that he and his friend were actually thinking about moving out too. I told him to talk his friend and get back to me ASAP. They were dragging their feet and I was running out of options, so I told them I'd pay $1200. I was desperate and they were my last shot.
Finally they got back to me and agreed and we began the process of finding a place. At this point I had about 3 weeks to make this move happen. We found a spot, I paid the app fee, and the deposit. We moved in February.
Things were cool at first, but then in March I started to get sick. I didn't have much of an appetite, I would randomly get nauseous, and I had serious mud butt. What really prompt me to go to the doctor was the mud butt. Things had gotten so bad in that region, I won't gross you out with the details but know that it was super uncomfortable. Anyway, I went to the doctor and told her what was going on. She ran some tests and did a physical exam. After all that she tells me that all the labs look fine and that she couldn't see anything wrong with the area and that's when she asked me about changes to my life and diet. I told her I didn't change my diet, but that I was stressed out from work and that I had just gone through all the stress trying to move and find a new place. She told me that it was probably the stress and that if things didn't get better in a few weeks to come back and she would run some more tests.
For a few weeks I agonized over what to do because I needed the money because I have two other people depending on me to cover my part of bills and I don't wanna jeopardize my living situation. Then one morning I woke up and the misery had already set in. I hadn't even been awake for 30 minutes and I'm already feeling like I've been through the worst day of my life. It was then I decided to quit. I called my boss and put in my two weeks notice.
At first I was nervous about telling my roommates, but then I thought, "What are they going to do?" So I told them the situation and neither seemed to care. Fast forward to July and the only job I could land was Jersey Mike's. It was walking distance and paying just enough for me to still pay the most on bills without having to get a second job. Just as a frame of reference, I went from making $24-25/hr. full-time to $15/hr. part-time.
After I got the job, I went back and crunched the numbers because I knew I wasn't going to be able to carry them on the bills anymore, or at least for then. I talked to them and I told them that I wouldn't be able to carry them on the bills anymore, at least for now. I told them I could pay $800 of the total living expenses which was still close to 40% of our total living expenses and that for July I'd only be able to pay $600, but that I would pay them back for covering me. They both told me not to worry about it. "We're all in this together..." they said and that's when I thought maybe I had found some new real friends.
From that point on things were alright...for the most part. Over a period of time I started to notice that things of mine would go missing, mostly food or kitchen stuff. The first thing I noticed was that someone was helping themselves to my bananas and it wasn't a big deal, but when they kept doing it I finally got mad and told them to stop helping themselves to my stuff. They both have cars and can easily go get whatever it is they want, meanwhile, I have to walk to go get my groceries.
Then there was the dishes. It got to a point where I was basically the only one washing dishes. Finally I had to say something and even after I said something they still half ass the dishes. What sense does it make to put all the clean dishes in the dishwasher away and leave a sink full of dirty dishes? I guess their idea of doing dishes is either washing them or putting them away, not both. I even bought a damn dish rack to ease the problem and they still couldn't do it.
One of them is probably the most incapable human being I've ever seen. There's not a single time he's "done dishes" that I didn't have to go back after his ass and rewash the shit he half assed, but I didn't get mad or act like an asshole about it, I just tried to appreciate the fact that they were trying to do dishes a little more.
Then there's the cleaning. Neither of them cleans(ed) shit. I'm the only one who sweeps and mops the place. They leave dishes in the living room, nasty socks on the damn coffee table, and I swear to God it was like living with children and I even had to ask that they stop leaving their shit everywhere. One of them would leave his laundry in the kitchen, the laundry room, the living room. I mean, why would I want to pay $1200 for all that? So while all this going on, I've already made up my mind that when we talk about the rent split again, I'm not going back to paying more just to be a maid service and have man-toddlers ruining my shit. I had a set of 12 drinking glasses when I moved in and I have maybe 5 left. My Tupperware bowls are missing lids and/or ruined. Plates all chipped up and there's just a ton of other shit, but I thought these guys were my friends, so I tried not to sweat it, you know? Try to be a good friend and roommate.
Things are going fine for months, then we get the notice on the door that our renewal is coming up and at the time everyone was in agreement about renewing the lease. No one mentioned the rent split, so I figured everything was all good and on an even keel. A few weeks go by and the rent for March is due and they're scrambling trying to figure out how to pay it because they won't let us pay separately anymore (something I mentioned when we first moved in could be an issue, but they knew better apparently so we all paid separately). In that confusion, one of my roommates askes me if I'm going to be able to go back to paying what I was paying before to which I replied, "With what money? I give one whole check to all my bills and the second check I get in a month has to cover me for just about a whole month. I'm barely getting by as it is."
Then this motherfucker has the nerve to ask,
"Are you working the most hours you could work a Jersey Mike's?"
Are you serious right now? As much I've paid, as much as I pay, and this motherfucker is going to ask me that? Like, who are you? Neither of them were carrying me on the bills which is why I said $800. I crunched the numbers and both of them were paying $200 less than I was when I was paying $800 and when I was paying $1200 they were paying even less depending on the utilities, so at no point has this arrangement been unfair to where this motherfucker has any right to ask me that. I've paid my share on time every month without fail. Even the months where I had to stretch $200 over a few weeks, I still paid my share.
I didn't say any of that, of course, I was just thinking it. Instead, I told him that I work the 2nd or 3rd most hours at the store and for anyone that might be questioning, they were going to promote me to assistant store manager. How do you get a promotion without even trying or wanting it if I'm not working a lot of hours in the first place? (I said were because I have to put all that shit on hold until I get this shit all figured out because there's a good chance I won't even be in the state and it would be pretty stupid to take a job just to live it not even two months later.)
From that point on they both started acting funny. Not really talking to me. Pretty much just ignoring me and I could tell they had something they wanted to get off their chests, but me being the person that I am, told myself that it's probably in my head and that it's probably nothing.
A week or so goes by and one day while I'm working I get a text:
Them: Brandon,
We were talking and with the lease renewal...blah...blah...fucking blah we think that you should pay $1k/mo. because we felt $1200 was unfair...blah...blah...fucking blah.
Me: I don't appreciate two people I considered my friends talking about me behind my back and making arrangements that concern me without me. Second, if y'all wanna break out the receipts and look at the actual expenses from the month, I'm down. I agree that because I have the bigger room I should pay a little more, but I'm not going back to an unfair arrangement I made back when I was desperate. Even paying what I'm paying now the arrangement is fair to everyone with me paying about 39-40% of our total living expenses. Even if for some reason the utilities came up to $600/mo. it would be an even split with everyone paying $800. So if y'all wanna break out the receipts for the time we've been here and come up with a more fair solution, I'm game otherwise we can go our separate ways because I'm not going back to being responsible for 50% of our living expenses.
Roommate A: We can discuss this evening...blah...blah...fucking blah...Going down to 50% and sticking with that for the lease extension sounds fair to me. (Roommate B cosigns with a thumbs up).
Me: I'm not paying 50% of our living expenses. If that's the only way the deal gets done then we'll go our separate ways.
Roommate A: I hear you. Just wanna know why originally it was...blah...blah...fuckin blah...you came to me with the original unfair number and we are okay with not going back to that. I think the $1k is fair because of the principle, you couldn't sign onto any lease, and it's cheaper than a 1 bedroom anywhere. And please realize I'm here to help. I try my best to keep my word and I don't want to have any negative relationship with people in my life.
(Pause) Now, at this point I wanted to spell out the laundry list of reasons I mentioned earlier, but I didn't, why? Because this wasn't about fairness, right/wrong, or any of that. This is 100% about them wanting me to pay more so they could pay less, so me saying all that stuff would've fallen on deaf ears or created an even bigger argument. Also, what kind of shitty friend throws it in another friend's face that they had a run of bad luck and society isn't exactly forgiving for those us who get hit with setback after setback?
Me: First off, it takes a real dickhead to say some shit like that because just like I'm getting out of paying full price for 1br, you two have been paying far less for your living expenses than you both would on your own and/or together.
Second off, I'm not entertaining the idea that you guys care about fair because if either of you wanted fair, y'all would've come at me with a number closer to $900 than a $1000 especially if you truly thought $1200 was unfair. Y'all don't want fair, y'all want me paying more on the bills so y'all can pay less.
Even if I did change the arrangement, y'all both have been paying less in bills than I have so it's always been more than fair to y'all, so if y'all want fair, then be fair, but skip the bullshit platitudes about keeping your word and all that because all y'all want is me paying the most on the bills. Y'all want fair then come at me with a fair number, but don't pretend that you guys have been getting the shaft or that anything these past few months has been unfair especially when it's mostly my stuff that's ended up broken, missing, and/or ruined. Miss me on that shit. You're both grown men.
That being said, I'm not even willing to negotiate anymore. I'll pay $620 on the rent since I have the bigger room and we split the rest of the bills equally 3 ways. My one and only counter offer is $640 on the rent and an equal 3 way split on the rest of the bills.
Y'all don't think that's agreeable, I'll move out and we can go our separate ways. Not mad, just want to this resolved so we can move on or go our separate ways.
I didn't hear anything back for the rest of the day. Even when I got home those mitches had absolutely nothing to say. It wasn't until today that I got this text:
Roommate A: Since we can't agree on a new arrangement, guess you'll be staying til the month? If you want to do 640 it's up to you. I really am sorry that you felt we were coming after you. Just let me know what your plans are and I can stay out of your hair. And I didn't appreciate the dick head comment. I felt I've been a good friend over the past few years, whether it be offering food, a ride somewhere or just someone to vent to.
(Pause) He's not been as good of a friend as he claims. One day I asked him for a ride because it was going to be super cold and raining. He acted like it was a problem and never answered. I walked to work in the freezing rain and by the time I got to work I was soaked. While I'm changing into the spare clothes I brought, I see a text from him asking why I didn't wake him up because he would've given me a ride. Bro, when did you say that? You acted like it was huge issue to drive me 5 minutes up the road. Not once did he say, "Wake me up and I'll take you." This man has offered me a meal maybe 5-6 times and on several of those occasions there was something needed in return. He cooked dinner and I would share whatever it was he was wanting at the time. Let's just say I had some cheesecake so he'd offer me food if I gave him cheesecake. We've been living in the place for more than a year and the amount of times this man has offered me a ride is less than 10. Knowing I don't have a car doesn't even shoot me a text asking if I need anything from the store while he's there or because he's going, but he's such a good friend.
Me: I don't care what you don't appreciate. I don't appreciate two people I called my friends talking behind my back and then throwing it in my face that I can't get a lease on my own so I may as well pay. Good Friend. I'm staying til the lease is up. Y'all had more than enough time to come to me with this and I'm not about to scramble with a little under two weeks to make new arrangements. Y'all swear the deal was to come back and talk about this shit in December, but did y'all? Nope. Y'all had plenty of time to talk to me and I was more than prepared to work to it out, but obviously it was more important for y'all to be carried on the bills than it was to help a friend...Y'all stay out of my way and don't touch my shit and we'll all be fine until I'm gone.
Now, I know everyone that reads this isn't going to be on my side because on principle, I should pay what I said I'd pay, right? Well let's talk about principle. You can't talk principle without mentioning fairness, so where were these "principles" they were supposed to have when a man they knew was desperate was making a desperate and unfair offer? Nowhere to be found, right? Because they jumped at the chance to have another grown man carry them on the bills. At no point did either of them try to pay more or offer to pay more, they just went along with it, but now I'm supposed to believe that they really think $1000 is fair and $1200 is not? How did they come to that conclusion?
Well, you have to look at the heart of their argument and how the whole thing unfolded. Their argument is that it isn't fair that an agreement, which by their own admission was unfair to begin with, was changed to fairer ratio (with the scales still tipped in their favor) because they aren't ending the lease. They are keeping the lease which means they have no problem paying more, they just have a problem with coming to an agreement with me on a fairer split on the bills and I was completely willing to work this situation out and pay around 38-40% of our living expenses. Which would've been around $800-900 and they would've paid about $200-$300 less depending on the utilities...and I could see if they had been carrying me on the bills, but they haven't. I've always held up my end of the bills each month; I just wasn't willing to pay more just to be the house dad to two man-children who would rather burn a friend than help him.
Anyway, I don't expect sympathy or anything. I just need to get that off my chest. Thanks for taking the time to hear me out...well...not hear, but read.
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