A Muffin, a Note, and a Whole Lot of Nothing

I didn’t lose her.

She was never mine to begin with.

What I did lose was time, energy, thoughtfulness—and, if I’m being honest, a little bit of dignity—trying to get close to someone who never really opened the door.

Back at the end of April, I finally asked out a woman I work with. Actually asked. No games, just: “Hey, I think you’re pretty. Wanna go out sometime?”

She said she’d like that.

The next day, she tells me to keep it quiet at work and drops this curveball: her kid is on house arrest and needs 24/7 supervision. That sounded... complicated. Part of me considered backing off. But I figured—how would I feel if someone walked away from me over something I couldn’t control? So I stayed open. Figured we could at least talk, maybe grab lunch, hang out at work.

She started calling me after she got off work—couple times a week. Our convos flowed. She mentioned one day she doesn’t always stop to eat, so I started bringing her snacks. Nothing major. Grapes, a muffin, an energy drink. I’d ask if she wanted anything, or just surprise her. She told me I was sweet. Said I made her smile. It felt like something was building.

Then her kid’s court date got pushed. That’s when the vibe changed.

Calls slowed. Texts dried up. Her energy pulled back so hard I felt like I was the only one rowing the boat. I told her I didn’t want to smother her. She barely replied. So I stepped back.

She saw me later and said, “You don’t have to be a stranger, you know?”

I told her, “Neither do you.”

She said, “Touche.”

Cute. But still no effort.

I left her a note explaining I was giving her space, not being cold. She replied to say she was driving. Never responded again.

So I asked her straight-up what she wanted. She said we should “just be friends and go from there.”

I accepted that. But her actions didn’t change. The only time we talked was when we passed each other at work—and even then, it was just hollow small talk. So I tried one last time. I brought her some grapes. She said thank you, but she didn’t even come get them—I had to do all the work. The next day, I brought her a muffin. Not even a thank you.

That stung more than I expected.

I left her one more note. Told her I think about her probably more than I should. Again—no response.

So I wrote a final letter. Three pages. Told her the truth:

I’m not mad. I’m just done faking this “friendship” that only exists when we’re face to face. I told her if all I am to her is just a guy she works with, then that’s exactly how we should act. Because nothing hurts more than pretending someone cares when they clearly don’t.

Since then?

Radio silence.

She doesn’t even say hi anymore. And yeah, that hurts. I really liked her. I wanted to know her. I tried. I showed up. But the silence made things painfully clear: I was the only one showing up.

She took the snacks. She took the attention. But she never gave anything back—not even the bare minimum. Not even a “thanks.”

So maybe I couldn’t fold the whole thing into a paper airplane and let it go. But I can fold it into this post. A muffin, a note, and a whole lot of nothing—that’s all I got in the end.

But maybe that’s enough to start letting it go.