Held Hostage by a Maybe

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I don’t know why I’m drawn to her—
maybe it’s the way her spirit hums
in a frequency only my chaos understands.
Her smile? Electric.
Her gaze? Intoxicating.
And I can’t lie—
I’m hooked.
Not like an addict,
more like a scholar obsessed with a riddle
too ancient to solve.

She makes me wonder
what her kiss tastes like—
if it’s soft like closure
or sharp like goodbye.
What keeps her up at 2 a.m.?
What wars does she wage behind closed eyes?

Her silence—
it doesn’t push me away.
It invites me in,
but never past the foyer.
Just enough warmth to stay,
just enough cold to question
if I was ever meant to belong.

She’s a cipher,
and maybe I’m too much of a question mark
to be her answer.
Maybe I’m not what she wants.
Maybe I never was.

And still—
here I am,
chasing echoes of something
that might never be real.
A loop I can’t exit,
a thought I can’t kill.

Part of me wants to walk away.
Save myself the heartache.
Save myself from myself.
Because left to my own devices,
I could build shrines from glances,
and fall in love with ghosts.

I don’t know why I’m drawn to her.
But God—
sometimes I wish I weren’t.

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