Does Body Count Matter??

I spend a lot of time on the internet and during that time I come across a lot of videos about body count. Does it matter? Doesn't it matter? Why does it matter? You name it and people are talking about it and I think one thing we should all realize by now is that it does...to some degree or another. 

Whether you agree, or even like what I'm about to say, body count does matter to some degree or another. Now, I don't want to contribute to anyone's narrative that this is about one gender versus the other. I don't like that narrative because it's simply not true. Men are doing their dirt and women are doing theirs. 

I've been on this Earth for 35 years now and one thing that's become painfully evident is that people commonly dismiss what's right in front of them because it doesn't fit their belief system or it hurts their feelings and if we took a second to stop and actually listen, we'd understand why body count matters. 

Don't it Twisted...

Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell people that they need to stop having sex or even not have multiple sex partners, but rather, if you take a few minutes to read this all the way through, you'll see I'm just pointing out something that's obvious. 

We can all agree that we each have our own opinions when it comes to how many sexual partners is too many, yes? But have you ever actually thought about how many sexual partners isn't enough? What I'm asking is, man or woman, would you date, and/or engage in sex with, someone who is a virgin? Some of you might say yes, and some of you might say no. Doesn't matter the reason, but in that regard, body count matters and there's nothing wrong with that because, at the very least, people are saying they want someone with some sexual experience. 

Let's flip to having too many sexual partners. Man or woman, how many would you say is too many? Let's just say for the sake of this post that someone walked up to you and said someone they know is a slut/manwhore because they've slept with 20 people. Would you agree with them or would you need more information? 

Me, personally, I'd be asking more questions because someone that's single and in their 50's having had 20 sexual partners doesn't sound odd to me at all. Now, if you told me that this person was 19 and had 20 sexual partners, yeah, I might be inclined to say that person is a little on the slutty side. 

Pause: Please don't get offended. There's nothing wrong with being a slut. There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex. There's nothing wrong with having multiple sex partners and getting glazed like a donut. I'm not here to slut shame anyone, but with that being said, I don't think it's unfair to say that 19 year old that's had sex with 20 different people might be a little bit slutty. That is a very young age to have had so much sex. I get it. Everyone's experience is different and everyone likes sex to vary degrees, but over here on my side of town, we call a spade a spade. Man or woman, I'd say that person was a little bit hot in the ass and should probably consider paying for a subscription to the local clinic and save themselves some money on STD testing. 

Some people might agree and some people might not. If you disagree, keep putting numbers in place of 20 until you feel it might be a little uncomfortable and if you need some help, a porn star by the name of Lisa Sparks had sex with 919 men in a 24 hour time period. If that's not a slut, I don't know what is, and there's nothing wrong with what Lisa Sparks did, but when those numbers start to climb people have questions. 

Questions like:

How safe are they being? 

How many STDs have they had? (STDs can lead to reproductive issues and that's kind of important for people who want to start families.)

Are they a sex addict/nymphomaniac?

How can I be sure they won't cheat on me? 

What if I can't fulfill their sexual desires? 

I can't list out all the questions and concerns people have when it comes to how many sexual partners someone has had, but the point is that when someone has a high body count people ask questions and the thing is that a person will never know what number is going to make someone feel uncomfortable until they do and by then it maybe too late. 

Conversely, when someone has a low body count, people tend to think something is wrong with them. Unless this person has taken some vow of celibacy, some people don't want to admit they are virgins or haven't had many sexual partners because people make fun. I can only speak from the perspective of men on this issue. 

For men, we feel a lot of pressure to get laid. This is especially prevalent in our teenage years. It's almost like a right of passage to be able to join in the conversation when the guys are talking about sex, but up until you do, it's not a fun time trying to dodge the subject and even though we know our guy friends don't mean any harm by the teasing, it still puts that pressure on us to get the job done. Sometimes that pressure leads guys to do stupid shit on the quest to getting laid. 

Pause: This is not me in anyway excusing poor behavior on the side of either party when it comes to sex. No means no and I understand that. I just want to illustrate how the behavior can come about in the first place and it's the pressure to not be the only one who isn't a virgin. Again. There's no excuse for some of the heinous shit people are doing to get sex. 

I can't speak for women, but I'm sure to some degree they share a very similar experience especially these days; women are far more open about their sexual experiences and embrace their sexuality. I'm not saying women pick on each other, but you'd have think I was born last night to believe that when a woman tells another woman she's had sex once or not at all there isn't at least a little bit of shock which might come off a judgement. 

Point is that high body count or low body count, people will have an opinion to vary degrees. Even if you say you don't care, that's still technically caring because to not care, you have to first consider whether or not you do care. You can't know whether or not you care about something if you've never stopped to think about it or consider how it might impact you.

In the End it Really Does Matter...

I'm not here to convince anyone to go out and start judging folks by their sexual proclivities, okay? I'm just trying to point out that to some degree, body count does matter and you won't know when until you do. The point isn't that you need to do this or stop doing that, but rather, be confident with the choices you make with your life and body.

If you're someone who has a lot of sex and enjoys having multiple sex partners, all at once or different at times, that's your business, but the moment someone you like, or even a random stranger, tells you that it makes them uncomfortable and they don't want (or wouldn't want) to engage in a relationship with you, or with you anymore, then you have to accept that because you made those choices. Man or woman, you chose to do it and you have to respect that person's boundaries because just like they have boundaries, so do you and you want them to respect your boundaries, yes? 

At the end of the day we all have different levels of tolerance for different things and it doesn't make someone childish, immature, insecure, dumb, stupid, a tease, or anything else to have boundaries and standards. Respect goes both ways otherwise it's not respect, it's fear and a relationship based in fear is never going to last.