I'm tired of people telling me what I need to do, but not willing to help me do it.

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I'm tired of people telling me what I need to do, but not willing to help me do it. 

I live in, literally, the middle of God's green no where right now and I don't have a car. 

Each time I've saved up money to get myself a car something happens. 

For instance, I was up about $5k when the pandemic happened and I was just about to pull the trigger on getting a car, but at the time people were getting laid off and business was slowing down. 

I figured it would be mighty stupid of me to take on this rather large financial obligation knowing that there's a chance I could be laid off. 

Sure as shit, a month later, I was laid off. I wasn't at any great loss for not having a car at the time because I was living in NC and could walk, bike, or Uber/Lyft wherever I needed to go. 

It sucked not having a car and having to walk places, but I swallowed my pride and did what I needed to do to make it. 

Here, I can't walk anywhere. I can't Uber anywhere, so me getting a job isn't just me getting a job it's me committing other people, and their cars, to get me to and from work. 

What happens if one day someone can't give me a ride to work? What happens if I'm late because someone couldn't take me to work until a certain time? What if someone's car breaks down while they're taking me to, or from work? 

People around here don't have money for their cars to be in and out of the shop and no one around here is driving anything brand new and it seems like I'm the only one considerate of that fact.

It seems like I'm the only one thinking about everyone else and not just myself. There's other stuff to consider as well, but the bottom line is that I can't just get a job. 

I have to find something that's close and is okay with me only working two to three days a week because I don't want to make anyone responsible for picking me and dropping me off. 

As much as I know people will help, that will only go so far before someone starts getting resentful or starts making snide comments. 

It's human nature and I understand it. Needing a ride once or twice a week every now and then, sure, but needing a ride everyday? That's pushing it. 

Then someone asked me, "Well, what's the alternative then?" 

Idk, how about helping me make some money on the website I'm always talking about? How about helping me move some of my branded merch? 

Oh right, because I'm just playing at that stuff. It's not real work or job and that's fine that people think that, but my business license is as real as Amazon's business license. 

Look, I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for a handout. I'm not even begging anyone for help, but rather, I'm trying to explain that I'm not just willfully sitting around doing fuck all. 

Everyday I wake up with a plan and one day I'm going to fuck around and make some money I just have to keep working at it.


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