Everything&Nothing: Explained

Everything&Nothing

Explained

A few weeks ago, I did a live stream that I titled “What’s the Point?” This is a little bit more of an elaboration on that, but before I get started, I just want to take a moment to say thanks for taking the time to stop by and check out my blog. This is a new venture for me, and I really appreciate the support and encouragement I get from everyone, so from the bottom of the heart I don’t claim to have, Thank you!

Alright, now that we got that crap out of the way, I can start my soap opera. The day I did “What’s the point?”, I was kind of battling with negative thoughts and this is a constant struggle for me because all of my life I have somewhat followed a path halfheartedly because people told me it was the best thing to do. It was the safe bet if you will. Ultimately the decision to go to college was my own, so I have no one to blame for not taking it seriously or not investing more and figuring out what degree I really wanted and how to obtain that degree in the way that makes the most financial sense. I embarked on that collegiate journey in 2011 and I finished in 2014 and I wasn’t one of those kids that hadn’t lived life prior to college so I knew things were going to suck being an adult but I figured it would marginally easier than before when I didn’t have a college degree. 6 years, 7 jobs, 4 layoffs and a bullshit firing later, I haven’t found it to be any easier than before I had a degree. During those 6 years I looked into other careers that I thought were exciting but without getting a new a degree or experience, the outlook wasn’t good because the barriers to entry are real, and while they are able to be overcome, do I really want to start over with a new career that I am not even sure I’d love. It took me all this time to get here and realize what I am doing now isn’t what I want, so I’ve got to be sure that whatever I do next is something I am going to be comfortable investing years of hard work to obtain.

With this new idea in mind, I knew that it was time to start thinking about turning the things I love into a career but how do I turn video-games, a love of all things television and movie, weed, food, travel, and comedy into a career because those are things I love. Those are things I am passionate about and everyone of those things people have made lucrative careers doing and now I want to know how I can do it to, but how? I started to look at the people I admired like Dave Chappelle and Jon Favreau, and I asked myself what’s the difference between them and me. The difference was that they knew what they wanted and didn’t stop until they got it and even after they got it, they turned it into more. I read articles about YouTube and Twitch streamer that make comfortable livings streaming and I think to back to when I was a kid and I told someone that I looked up to as a mentor that I wanted to be a video-game tester and the response was that of someone who believed I had just said I wanted to be a dinosaur when I grow up. Now, some 13-year-old kid is a millionaire because he kicked ass at a video-game. They all had the same thing in common, they were just doing it. They were going for it. Nay-sayers be damned, they were going to get what they wanted and do what they wanted to do.

At this point I am realizing that I am lacking passion and conviction. Looking back on all the jobs I’ve had, the reason they didn’t work out was because my heart wasn’t in it and even thought I didn’t get fired from most of those jobs, I was good enough and I knew more than I let on which would have given me a little bit more staying power. I’d go to work, do my job and that’s it but if you want to be successful in your career you have to live it. Your career isn’t a job, it’s a lifestyle and I know that might sound cheesy to say, but it’s the truth. You don’t get promoted by being a half-assed worker. You don’t climb the corporate ladder by never having any ideas and that was me. I was good at my job but I half-assed it because I was clocking out at 5 pm everyday instead of putting in the time to build a career and I know the reason was because I didn’t have the desire to climb the corporate ladder. None that stuff intrigued me. I don’t want to ever be the CEO of some big company and have to listen shareholders and make decisions that can negatively impact peoples’ lives. Now don’t get me wrong, I do take extreme pleasure in firing those that deserve it but when it comes to layoffs and not being able to give raises or benefits people need, I couldn’t do it.

Re-Enter the blog idea—I told you guys that back in 2016 I had this idea that wanted to start a blog and did all this work for it but did nothing with it, so now here I am back with the same idea but I am still having the same issue: getting out of my head about it. I kept making excuses to not make a blog and most of them come from the fact that people talk shit about bloggers. The other thing was that I am mortified at the idea of someone reading something I have written. Can’t tell you where it comes from or why. I can live stream all day but tell me to write something and show someone, I lose my shit. Even now, just thinking about it is making me nervous. Last hurdle was what do I write about and why would anyone care?

Trying to answer these questions seemed a fool’s errand so I told myself that I am going to work backwards. Find an idea, write about it, and then figure out the rest later.

Idea: I love movies and TV shows but would I lose interest in constantly being stuck to that because there are things in life outside of movies and TV shows.

The reason I mentioned that idea is because it never went away. It was stuck in my brain like a brand on cattle, but I still have no clue what to do because what is a movie blogger doing writing about cars? That’s when I decided that it doesn’t matter, and I am going to write about whatever I want—everything if you will. I love that idea. It’s my own thing so why limit myself to sticking to one thing to write about when I write about the stuff that matters to me.

If you’ve read this far, don’t worry, the plane is just about to land because we just uncovered the meaning to everything and we are so close to learning about nothing, so just bear with me a little longer.

Now I’ve got the idea, but I just still can’t shake this one thing. This one idea, this one thought. Why would anyone care? What if people don’t like it? How do I get over that idea that people will just not be receptive and think its shit? Have you been there? Battling with this kind of negative idea? The idea that stops you cold in your tracks for fear of some sort of failure. That is where I was, but then I remembered that none of this matter. I am not an expert. I am not getting paid for any of this and most importantly, it’s all my opinion and I am not working to be right or wrong, I am working to create something different because for years I have been terrified of what people think so I won’t speak up. I won’t let my voice be heard and I want to change that. The other day I tweeted that I had let myself sit back long enough and just watch everything I’ve seen myself become the bad and in the story of my life, I am the bad guy because I impede my own progress. I sabotage myself and I defeat myself before anyone else has the chance and I am done with that. What I am working to create is a culture where people can come together with different ideas, talk and if we don’t agree, cool, let’s bullshit on a subject. I want comments. I want interaction. I want feedback. I want everything you guys have to offer, even the haters because I don’t want people around me that just blindly agree. I want people to have an opinion share, talk, joke and laugh because at the end of the day we are all human beings and we all just want to live our best lives and at the end of the day the conversation mean absolutely nothing. Thus Everything&Nothing is born. We talk about everything and nothing matters because we all just want to be heard. We all just want to be happy. I want to bring you guys content that will spark conversation, bring us together, and have fun. So please, share, encourage, debate, criticize constructively, and above all else respect those who chose to be here to share an participate.

Thanks again for stopping by and reading.