That Really Bothered Me

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Someone commented on one of my promo pictures on Instagram. It's just a picture of me that says follow me on and has the links to my social media accounts. The comment reads as follows:

"Why? So you can ratio and unfollow 99% of the people you use to follow? Pass. I don’t know what happened to you but it’s sad. And very disheartening."

This comment really bothered me because I didn't unfollow people to make my account look my popular. I did it because I was going to delete my account. I was feeling really badly about myself and part of the reason was because I felt like the more vocal I got about real life, the more people started unfollowing me. 

Ever since George Floyd died, I have been a lot more vocal about politics and a lot of my jokes have been politically charged. I started tweeting more about the injustices people are facing and how the government's response to the pandemic has been poor. The more I tweeted about these things, the more I noticed my numbers dropped and people who used to RT/Like my tweets were no longer around. I started to feel like the only time people cared about me is when I am telling some stupid joke about boobs or something dumb. I looked at the numbers, as well, during this time period and my account was trending in the wrong direction. The worse it got the more I just felt bad about myself and I wondered what I could do to stop it. 

It was then that I wanted to just delete my account and start over but when I thought about it some more, I felt like there would be some people who might be bummed if I just ghosted so I started going through my following list and I unfollowed everyone that wasn't following me. Then I unfollowed everyone that I just didn't care for and before I knew it, I was unfollowed a lot of people for a one reason or another. I had to tell one person that I unfollowed them because I had a crush on them and it was getting to be a problem because things aren't going great for me currently. I'm struggling in my personal life to make ends meet and throw on top of that some stupid unhealthy crush that makes me feel just a little worse about myself and life. Essentially, I just had to do some cleaning. 

I didn't unfollow people to make myself look better. I knew as soon as I finished that people would unfollow me because they care more about their follower count than they do me and that's okay. I don't care. I'll admit, I cared before. I was worried about my 4500 followers and it crushed me to see that I got to 4500 just to see the number keep dropping. It crushed me to see that my account was getting stagnant. I went from having at least one tweet a month get like 500+ likes to almost no interaction at all and it seemed the harder I tried the worse it got. Now, I don't care. I appreciate every single person that follows my account but one thing I won't do is follow someone back just to keep them following me. I want people to follow me because they like my Twitch channel. I want people to follow me because they like my blog. I want people to follow me because they like the jokes I write and if the content I am making isn't enough to gain me followers and keep followers then, so be it but I am going to keep being happy doing me. 



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