The Holidays Just Haven't Felt Like the Holidays

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 Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

I caught an Uber this morning to pick up some groceries and I was lucky to get a very friendly Uber driver. He asked me if I was ready for Christmas and I was a little apprehensive to answer the question. Reluctantly I said, "eh, ever since I've been adult the holidays just haven't felt like the holidays." 

The Holidays aren't about money

I went on to explain that ever since I became a full blown adult with bills, it's been hard during the holidays because you want to do things and celebrate but you're worried about spending money, gift giving and all that good stuff. 

The Uber driver agreed but also said it's not about the money. The holidays are about having fun and spending time with family, and while I do agree with that sentiment, I think saying that is a lot easier than it is done. 

First off, around the holidays I never have a ton of money to spend despite my best efforts to save up. I always have this intent to save money for the holidays so I can get my family gifts that they will really enjoy like we did when we were younger. 

As you get older you can see the disappointment in people's faces when you get them something that they don't like or don't really deem a good gift. You can hear it in the way they say "No, it's great." or "No, I really do like it." It's soul crushing especially if they got you something that was relatively expensive. 

The pressures of finding the perfect gift for someone are multiplied by the fact that you have a very tight budget. It's frustrating and makes you feel like you're less than everyone else because you can't do for someone the way you want to or think you should. I couldn't imagine being a parent in these days. Gaming consoles are wildly expensive compared to the prices back in the day, so I couldn't imagine having child asking me for a PS5 for Christmas only to see the look on their face Christmas morning
because they didn't get one; It hurts. 

Then let's say you do forego getting any gifts and you decide that you do want to go home. Sometimes that just isn't possible. Some people live thousands of miles from their family so they would have to spend hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket home for the holidays. Some people can't go home because they have to work. I haven't always had the luxury of having the holidays off. I've had to work Christmas Eve for half of the day, off Christmas, and then back to work on Friday at time when my parents lived 5 hours away. Was it really going to worth a 10 hour round trip for a couple of hours with my family? 

I didn't go. I decided to go the following weekend because it was going to end up being a long weekend and I took a few days off. Some people don't even have the luxury of being able to take off because they don't get much, if any, paid time off or paid holidays. There's a lot of people in the same situation for a variety of reasons that all have the same bottom line: money. 

Alright, let's suppose you do end up making it home, getting gifts, and/or whatever combination of spending money for the holidays fits your lifestyle, spending time with family still isn't always cheap. People still want to do stuff like go out to eat, catch a game with some old friends, and you're sitting there thinking to yourself, "Are you kidding me? I just spend [insert large dollar amount] on the holidays and now you guys wanna spend MORE money?" 

Just existing is expensive

After a quick in and out of the grocery store, we head back to my apartment. I hopped in the back seat and we continued the conversation to the point where we agreed that just existing is expensive and throw on top of that the money you spend celebrating stuff with people and for people it just makes it hard to feel excited when you constantly have to watch what you spend. 

I know life and the holidays aren't all about money, but it's hard to be excited or partake in life when you're constantly checking your bank account and I know I am not the only one that feels like this. It's a tough situation for sure but at the very least we should try to make the best of the situation and remember that things do get better despite life's best efforts to prove otherwise. 

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