Sometimes It's Not About Love

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People always assume that when you're single, you're looking for love.

Marriage.

Sex.

A relationship.

A future.

Sometimes it isn't any of those things.
Sometimes you just want someone to enjoy your company enough to want to do it again.

That's it.

Not because you're trying to move in.

Not because you're trying to play house.

Not because you're planning your future together.

Just because it feels good knowing that somebody genuinely enjoys being around you.

The older I get, the more I realize that's the part people overlook.

Loneliness isn't always about sleeping in an empty bed.

Sometimes it's eating dinner alone for the fifth night this week.

Sometimes it's realizing your phone hasn't buzzed all day.

Sometimes it's wondering if anybody would even notice if you disappeared for a weekend.

And sometimes it's something as simple as asking someone if they'd like to grab dinner again.

If they say yes, great.

If they say no, that's okay too.

What hurts is living in that gray area where you can't tell whether they're busy, unsure, or just hoping you'll quietly stop asking.

That's why I finally asked.

Not because I wanted reassurance.

Not because I needed validation.

I asked because I didn't want to become someone who kept pushing after the answer had already become obvious.

If you're not interested, that's okay.

You don't owe me another date.

You don't owe me a relationship.

You don't owe me forever.

I just don't want to spend weeks trying to read between the lines when a simple conversation would tell me everything I need to know.

Maybe that's part of getting older.

You stop chasing people who aren't meeting you halfway.

You stop trying to convince people to enjoy your company.

Because the truth is, you can't.

You can't make someone laugh.

You can't make someone text you first.

You can't make someone want to spend another 

Saturday afternoon with you.

And if they don't, forcing it only makes everyone uncomfortable.

The funny thing is, I don't think that's what hurts the most.

What hurts is wondering what it's like to have someone think, "I had a good time today."

Then follow it up with...
"When are we doing that again?"

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