What If...

What if I told you that I started a GoFundMe to raise seed money for my media company, would you give it to me?

What if I told you that I started a GoFundMe to raise money to get a car in order to travel to generate money for my media company, would you give it to me? 

What if I told you that I started a GoFundMe to raise money to keep my media company independent and uncontrolled by the corporate agenda, would you give it to me? 

Or how about this one: What if I told you that I was sick with cancer and I needed to raise money for my treatments or else I would die, would you give it to me? 

Why is it that people have to sell a sob story in order to get help? Why is it that I can ask people something simple like, "Repost this..." and get zero response, but if I were to mention being sick and dying people would pay attention? 

People gladly throw their money at companies like Amazon, Netflix, and the likes despite the fact that they're making money hand over fist and they don't care who they hurt or what they break in the process. That's just business, right? 

Me on the other hand, I can't even get people to drop by my website, or even simply click the reshare/repost button. Why is that? 

It's just wild to me that all I want to do is building something of my own and free of being governed by a bunch of greedy people who don't give a fuck about me. They don't. I don't care how many times they talk about family values and being part of a team; they're only pretty words they use to sell you on coming to work for them. Then when times get tough they "trim the fat". 

I've been laid off 3 times after busting my ass for these corporate overlords and all I wanted was a small piece of the pie-- just enough to make a decent living and travel around to do stand-up comedy. That was my plan. Kind of hard to focus on the future when I'm always looking behind me to see if the axe is coming. 

Even when I was at certain jobs I was still spending time looking for the next one because you can never be too cautious with these companies. I've watched everything I've worked for be taken away because of some arbitrary decisions made by a person who cared nothing for me, my livelihood, or dreams. 

I'm 35 years old and I want to be done with it; that's why I started my Shopify store. I wanted a way to make money to fund my media company without having to beg for money. I've thought about it. Believe me I have. 

I've thought about starting a GoFundMe with the intent being to raise money for my media company because I want nothing more than to focus on that. I know I can make it something; I just need the seed money to do it. If I could get some seed money I could stop wasting my time looking and applying for jobs that I don't want and start working on the job that I do want.

Sometimes I wish my dad had given me a small million dollar loan to start my adult life with, hell, I'd settle for half that right now and still be just as successful. I wish it were that simple. 

I wish I had all the answers; I wish I could wake up tomorrow and know exactly how to turn myself into an overnight success, but alas, I don't. I can barely find a job to feed myself and that's the truly frustrating part about all of this is simply being stuck and having no one to give me a hand up. 

There are some days I think I should've just stayed down in North Carolina and figured it out. At least I had a crappy job to keep a few bucks in my pocket, but no, I figured the safer option would be to come home, save money, and look for a job. My dumbass. 

I don't blame anyone, I made a choice and it was the wrong one. I should've never set foot back in this town like I had planned to because now I'm stuck. No way out until I make one. Sure I could ask for help, but what I'd get wouldn't really help; it'd be a band aid to get me through to the next month then the cycle starts all over again. 

Sometimes I think maybe I should start a GoFundMe because others have done it, or something similar. People have been crowd sourcing funds and fund raising for years, so why can't I do? It's not like I'm going to lie about what I'm doing with the money; as long as I'm honest and open about what I'm doing with the money it shouldn't be a problem, right? 

Well, like I said, people are more easily convinced to give people money when they sell them their sob story. No one wants to give away their hard earned cash to a guy they think doesn't want to work for a living. No one wants to give their hard earned cash away to the guy they've deemed just needs to get a job. 

I know what job I want, but the problem is no one will give it to me. I don't have enough experience and I didn't spend my student loan money didn't the exact right degree. (If you don't get why that's funny, I'm sorry you missed a good joke.) That's why I started my OWN media company because no one is going to give me a job running their social media, writing, or doing stand-up unless I go out there and prove that I can do it. 

If I have to prove that I can do it, why not do it on my own? Why would I build up my audience, following, and fandom just to hand it over to someone else? I would literally be giving away my power in order to join someone else's party. Power that I had to first build by myself because no one would give me a chance, so why would I hand that over? I wouldn't and that's why I've started my own thing. 

I wish it were that simple. I wish it were as simple as people believing me and taking me seriously when I tell them I'm building my own media company, but no one will take me seriously until I start making money-- that's when they'll all coming running, right? That's when everyone will have their hand out wanting something when they gave me nothing back when I needed help. 

It'll be the same people who didn't take me seriously that will be asking me for a job, some money, or some help trying to become famous. Believe me, I don't hold grudges because like I said, I don't blame anyone for where I am in my life. I made these choices and I have to live with them, but that doesn't mean I'm not keeping track of those who were down to ride from the beginning. Believe me when I tell you I know who the tourists are and who the townies are in the story of my life and people will be treated accordingly. 

Oh how I wish it were that simple. What if it was all that simple...??? 

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